I recently, within the last few months, met a pastor named Scott LaPierre, who is the author of Marriage God’s Way. Now when I say met, what I really mean is a virtual introduction. We’re both bloggers for the Christian Marriage Bloggers Association and through that common network we’ve become friends. He’s actually written on this blog on two occasions:
- To help married couples understand why a husband needs his wife’s help
- To help women understand the beauty in being a helper (Spoiler alert: the same word is used to describe both God as our helper and woman as her husband’s helper. I should just have my hubby call me ezer).
After reading his posts on my blog, I decided to read his book as well. While I’ve briefly reviewed it on Goodreads and Amazon, I wanted to give a slightly fuller review on my site. Also, one of my commenters will receive their own copy absolutely free. Sweet, right?!
Let me start by giving you a bit of an overall understanding of Pastor Scott’s view of marriage. From the book, you can easily see that he is complementarian in his view. Basically, the complementarian view of marriage holds that “God has created man and woman equal in their essential dignity and human personhood, but different and complementary in function with male headship in the home and in the church.”
You’ll see the complementarian view woven throughout the book. In fact, after one of his posts on my site, I had a reader express some upset feelings regarding this role. Don’t worry about that part too much. I’ve read this book, and whether you hold strictly to this view or not, I assure you that you’ll be challenged to improve your marriage and be encouraged that it’s possible. Here are a few examples why…
Pastor Scott’s book overflows with Scripture.
I’ve read many marriage books that will utilize a Scripture verse here or there to help you understand what the author is teaching, but Pastor Scott’s book points back to The Word on just about every page. I expect you won’t soon find another marriage book that so readily reflects and emphasizes God’s Word for couples. In fact, my comment earlier about having Jacob call me ezer is a prime example of how Pastor Scott expounds on Scripture to make marriage concepts more understandable and relatable.
Along with pointing back to Scripture, Pastor Scott actually teaches the Scriptures. For instance, he discusses the differences between agape and phileo love, shows references in Scripture to these types of love, and helps spouses understand how to apply the Biblical principles to their spouse. Drawing on research from Dr. Eggerichs (author of Love and Respect), he teaches practical ways for husbands to love their wives and for wives to respect their husbands.
Marriage God’s Way describes both the husband’s leadership role and the wife’s call to submission.
As a therapist, I fully know that men and women can get the meaning of these roles confused. I’ve seen this teaching horribly twisted allowing men to sin in the name of leadership and women to become doormats in the name of submission. In his book, however, Pastor Scott beautifully writes about the Biblical view of marriage, saying that God has placed the man as the head/spiritual leader and that the wife is to be submissive to that leadership. But, this book is far different from other books with the same message because he also spends time explaining what true Godly headship and submission looks like. He answers some tough questions about what to do when your husband doesn’t lead and also helps women understand what submission is and is not.
There’s some great counsel in the book about improving your marriage.
Beyond the actual teaching of a Biblical view of marriage, Pastor Scott spends time sharing struggles in his own marriage and how he and his wife were able to overcome those difficulties. He offers practical advice for both men and women so they can learn to treat their spouse well, and explains the different ways we can express love so that our spouse will better feel loved.
As a wife, what I appreciated most about Pastor Scott’s book, is his ability to speak about submission in a way that doesn’t feel “less than” in the marriage. In fact, by pointing out that the word “helper” is the same word used to describe the Holy Spirit’s role in helping Christians, he shows both husbands and wives that helper is a role that is honorable. What a beautiful way to capture God’s unique design for both husband and wife! Husbands can be encouraged by this book as well, because Pastor Scott helps husbands understand how to lead in a way that will honor God and help their wives feel loved.
I hope that this review encourages you to grab a copy of Marriage God’s Way. I’m sure you’ll find value in it when you do so. While you wait for your copy to come in, I’d encourage you to watch some of the Facebook live videos that he and his wife, Katie, do over on their site. You can send Scott your marriage questions and he and Katie will respond by video.
If you want a chance for a free copy of his book, leave a comment below telling me your initial reactions to the book from this review. One winner will be randomly drawn to receive a copy by mail. Edit: This freebie has already been given to the winner.
Blessings to you and may God enrich your marriage!
P.S. Just because I think it’s fun to do so, I’ll soon be reading a book written from a completely different view about marriage. I’ll share that review with you also. 🙂